ONE OF MY GREATEST MEMORIES

          While I am uncertain of the exact timeframe, this story had to take place in 2002 because that is when THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING was released on DVD. In our house at the time, in the living room both a couch and love seat shared one wall bisected by a hallway door which lead to the back bedrooms. If my timeframe was accurate, that would put my oldest son Alex at around six or maybe seven. So I am down for watching a movie and I am relaxing by watching the first installment of THE LORD OF THE RINGS.  

It is that point where Gandalf has taken on the Balrog in Khazah Dum, is snagged by his ankle, says to the group, “Fly, you fools!” and plunges into the abyss. As the leader of the fellowship, the uninitiated cannot imagine that such a pivotal character could be lost so early. Elijah Wood’s performance as Frodo is quite heart wrenching. And when you combine that Howard Shore’s incredible music for the event, you cannot help but get a little misty eyed.

So here I am happy as clam, enjoying the movie, and after the scene has concluded, Alex shows up at the couch and gives me a hug. Now, I am happy because I love what we called “uninitiated hugs.” I even said that as I returned his embrace. It took me a few moments to realize…

Alex had come into the living room and was watching from the love seat but I had not realized it because I was lying down. And then I realized he was on the verge of tears and that bottom lip was quivering. “Oh, Alex. Are you upset because Gandalf fell?”

And that is when the dam burst. I held him close and rubbed the back of his head, combing my fingers through his hair… And I could not muffle my smile. I calmly assured him, “Oh, son, don’t worry. He comes back.”

Years later, we would watch the entire trilogy as father and son. And, yes, we watched the full Special Extended Editions. Without THE LORD OF THE RINGS, you have no Dungeons & Dragons, no Drizzt Do’Urden, no World of Warcraft, no really fantasy genre as we know it today. And for that, I am eternally grateful because that genre is kind of my bread and butter.

So, if you went to see THE DARK KNIGHT RISES in theaters this weekend, hopefully, you caught the trailer for MAN OF STEEL. If you did, the music that plays in the trailer is from that scene. I love that scene and I love that my son was so stirred by it emotionally that he needed the embrace of his father… and here it is, almost a full decade later, and he still needs the embrace of his father from time to time. I hope he – and all three of my children – never outgrows it…

From My Sunday Studies: The Eternal Quest for Happiness

The goal of any human being is to achieve happiness. But if you look at the Ten Commandments, seven of them begin with “Thou Shalt Not…” One of the biggest anti-drug campaigns in the 1980s was “Just Say No!” One could look at this and say that clearly the world wants me to deny myself pleasure. Why do we have to always deny ourselves and say “no”? Who doesn’t enjoy a beer buzz? That first drag off a cigarette? Cocaine gives its user a massive rush. Heroin is massive ecstasy. Are you telling me that if I get married, I have to stay with the same woman for the rest of my life? Why can’t I be in the throes of passion with someone else? What is the harm in it?

                Now, just a clarification based off that last paragraph. I have a beer about once every six months. I’ve never done an illegal drug in my life. I abhor cigarettes with a fiery passion, and when I was married, I never cheated. I am not saying this to tell you I am some goodie-two-shoes. But if you look at America (and the world) today, everyone is looking for an escape. Especially living here in Oklahoma, you cannot swing a dead cat in this area without hitting a meth lab.

                And I seriously doubt the bathtub meth made in these trailer house labs are nearly as potent and pure as Walter White’s cooks. So these people just throw in any and all available chemicals into their batches – anything from under the kitchen sink. And then their customers intentionally take the stuff into their bodies. (I am not really clear on how that works. I guess they smoke it or snort it.) But, this stuff is, literally, poison and they are willfully injecting it into their bodies.

                Why?

                The sensation that any of these drugs provide must be wickedly intense. But at what cost? Ask anyone in the medical field, the ravages to the human body are immense. And then, when that high is no longer readily available or easily achieved, people will go to any lengths to achieve it. They will pawn their kids’ XBOX 360. Steal from their parents. It is a wicked downward spiral.

                The joyful gift that is sex is an intimate reward that is not to just be given away. It bonds people together and provides them with a wonderful joy. It is called “making love” for a reason. And while the passionate embrace of someone different is often exciting and new, what ends up being the end result? Shame, guilt, or on the highest level, the original marriage destroyed.

                But it is not just illegal drugs and illicit sex. What about food. I love to go to this small, local restaurant chain and I love their sirloin steak. But what if I eat five of them? What would be the end result? I love cherry pie? What happens if I eat a whole pie? Everything in life is about moderation.”

                “So what you are saying I can just have a little meth or just stick the tip in?” /facepalm.

No dingus. Ask any true alcoholic why they cannot drink. “You cannot have even one drink?” And as my Jedi Master explained to me (his padawan) while discussing his own addiction, you cannot because all it does is open the door. Like Blake Shelton warned us, “If I have one, I’ll have thirteen…”

Or I could argue that if cocaine is so great, what happens if you do a pound of it? See all of these things are an escape. But it is a TEMPORARY escape. It is a respite from their daily lives. They want to escape – if only for a little while – and the violent crash and the aftermath of this escape just continues to push them down further into the doldrums. And the true nature of the escape devices must be called into question.

But the more important question you have to ask yourself is, what are you trying to escape? And are any of these things – the powders, the pills, the arms of a new lover – are any of these things real happiness? The goal should be to elevate yourself to levels of true happiness. And what is true happiness and how can you get there? There are three basic needs of every human being: Food, clothing, and shelter. Once those needs are met, there is really only one thing that a person needs to be happy.

And would you believe me if I told you it was simply the trained mind?

The Good Fight & Never Surrendering

               The history of humanity is replete with stories of brave and noble soldiers fighting the good fight. We are inspired by stories of bravery and triumphing over long odds. Be it the brave 300 that fought at Thermopylae, the soldiers of the American Revolution, the fighters at the Alamo. I am certain that there are dozens – hundreds! – of examples throughout history. In my recent studies, I have been researching the Norse mythology and their legends.  

                Nordic warriors were some bad mamma-jammers and to truly understand why they were this way, I think you have to understand their mentality. You see movie footage of soldier moments before battle, before hitting the beach at Normandy, on choppers being airlifted to the battlefields, that one dude peeing himself in the entry tunnel to the arena in Gladiator. You see the nervousness, the fear. I am thankful to say that I have never been on a battlefield. The closest I have ever been is the football field. And I can tell you that the most prevalent thing that always went through my mind was I didn’t want to let my teammates down. And in battle, we are starting to see more and more stories that do not glorify war but honor the soldier’s mentality of “It is not about me. It is about the man next to me.” It is that bonding of brotherhood and honor.

                Now, let’s get back to the Nordic legends. See, in Norse mythology, the greatest honor you could receive is to die in battle. If that happened, one of Odin’s Valkyries would swoop down, collect your soul, and escort you to the shield hall where you got to drink and party with Odin himself. Sounds a little bit like Heaven, right? But you see, that was only Stage One.

                There was a reason why Odin called the souls of great warriors to be at his side in Valhalla. Because something bad was coming. Surtr, the fire giant with a flaming sword would break free from Muspell (think of it like Hell) and would attack Odin’s forces in the greatest battle of all time. It was called Ragnarok. And here is the real kicker. Odin and all his forces? They lose. They die. And moreover, they KNOW they are going to die.

                But it is not about winning or losing. It is about fighting the good fight. It is about taking up a sword and fighting back evil, tyranny, injustice and all the other tribulations of the world. Even if you fight and fail, you have fought the good fight. And that is a life worth living. Those that live life without passion or just go in saying “Well, let’s see what happens”? They are dead already. They just fail to realize it.

                Now modern day philosophers will tell you things like a man’s greatest hour is when he lies exhausted on the field of battle… victorious. Or that no bastard ever accomplished anything by dying for his country. (That was a mangled George Patton quote where he was saying that soldiers aren’t any good dead because they cannot fight anymore.)

But I would much rather live a life where I putting my heart and soul into something, leaving nothing in the tank at the end of the day. That is how everyone should approach their lives. This new YOLO attitude is just an excuse to be stupid. Instead, when you approach something, don’t do anything half-assed. If your job is to be a ditch digger, then be the best ditch digger in the world.

All aspects of your life should be attacked full force, with nothing held back. A job, a relationship, a marriage, parenting, heck, even hobbies. Go out there, full force, and leave nothing in the tank. Be the best you can possibly be. And even if you fail, you will never be amongst those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat…    

Life is waiting. Go get it.

Annnnnd... We're Back.

I am proud to announce the return of TRUE STORIES I MADE UP: The Official Blog of RMF Enterprises. Version 1.0 was pretty much only read by close friend and my mother but I feel that this is a wonderful venue for thoughts that are a little too lengthy to post on Facebook. To be perfectly honest, Facebook did kind of become my soundboard of choice but I feel it is time to reawaken this sleeping giant. The goal is also to bring the original RMF blog and import it into this one… if I can remember my passwords and log-in information. (Always keep a journal, kids, where you write all your stuff down in a little notebook that you keep by your computer.) So enjoy the small window into my life and as the bard once said, “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here…”